should capture be our earnest fault?
by deadlyxTRENDS
Summary: ..breathe up through lust, and i'll find your cure. - - -harry/luna!crackage.


HARRY/LUNA FTW!

* * *

Well, it didn't really matter, because Ginny was a slut anyways. Yeah, Harry'd found her under the Whomping Willow, oh, not three hours ago. Snogging the _fuck_ out of Dean Thomas.

-x-x-x-

"What the _hell_."

Ginny removed her mouth from Dean's face and tried to play it off like they hadn't just been _snogging the fuck out of each other_. "Oh… Harry. Um, this isn't what it looks like, really. Dean was just about to—"

"Show you his effing tonsils?"

"Aw, don't be like that, mate…"

"You've hardly got the right to call me mate, Dean. You've been shagging her as well, I suppose?"

Ginny hauled herself off of Dean and stood, glaring at Harry. "Don't be like that, Potter," she whispered. It was a deadly whisper, but Harry was hardly fazed at all by it.

"That's a yes, then. Well, don't let me interrupt or anything. Really, what business is it of _mine_?" Harry made to raise his wand threateningly at Dean (and perhaps shoot some unfortunate hex at him or something) but he was interrupted.

"Hello, Harry. You haven't noticed any suspicious Nargle activity around here, have you? I'm hunting, you see. Well, not really _hunting_ so much as _looking_, but you know hunting does sound a bit more official…"

This was a really, really, _really_ bad time for Luna's nonsense.

Harry sighed. "Luna, I really don't think—"

"Oh, Ginny and Dean! I didn't see you there. Are you shielding Ginny from the Nargles, Dean?"

"Believe me, Luna, that isn't what he was—"

"No," replied Dean coldly. "I was just_leaving_." He stalked off angrily toward the castle. After a few moments, Ginny shot Harry a venomous look (you know, the kind that says "I hope you fucking _die_.") and hurried after Dean.

"Well, at least she's not denying anything any—"

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Ginny looked rather upset… did you say something?" Luna cocked her head to the side, gazing wide-eyed and questioningly at Harry.

"No, it wasn't _me_."

"Oh, alright then, if you say so," Luna replied, any concern having vanished. "Well, I've got some Nargles to hunt. I'll see you later, Harry, alright?"

Harry watched in silence as Luna skipped off in the direction of the Black Lake. Her obliviousness sometimes left him awed, and sometimes it left him dumbfounded. This would be the latter. He shook his head and started heading back to the castle. With any luck, Ginny and Dean would already have found a nice private place to snog, perhaps behind a statue or in an empty classroom.

And, yes, thankfully Harry did make it back to the Gryffindor common room without further incident. He kicked various walls and glared at a few first years on his way, but other than that his trip was rather uneventful. He fwumped himself down in an armchair and glared at the fire, like it was somehow responsible for Ginny's actions.

Well, he'd known she was a slut from the start, really. _Everyone_ knew it. Maybe all she'd wanted was to be able to say that she'd gotten it on with the Boy Who Lived. And Harry had fallen for it. Of all the stupid decisions he'd made, this was definitely pretty high on the list.

And it's not like he and Dean were ever very good friends anyway.

Harry looked away from the fire and toward the portrait hole, having just heard it creak open. He was completely ready to go for his wand to fire a mean hex at whatever unfortunate person that was to climb through—

"Bloody hell, Harry. I've been looking for you for _ages_."

Ron._Dammit_. One of the only people that Harry would think twice about hexing.

Harry stood up, unconsciously taking a defensive stance against his best friend. "It isn't a good time right now, Ron."

"Oh, that's alright. Have you got any idea where Ginny is?"

"Well, right now… I'd say she and Dean are behind the suit of armor, across from the empty classroom on the third floor. And, this is just a shot in the dark here, but I'd say she's on top."

Ron's face was blank for a minute, like he didn't understand. And then a look of realization took over, quickly replaced with sympathy. "..I'm sorry, mate."

"Don't be sorry, Ron. She's your sister, aren't you supposed to take her side or some—"

"Blimey, Harry. You've got to be kidding me. If she's really…" his voice trailed off, and he looked as if he were in deep thought. "She's shagging_Dean_?"

Harry nodded.

Ron huffed and drew his wand, turning to exit through the portrait hole, muttering, "I'm gonna… Ginny's not going to… _Dean_… Well, she'd better have her clothes on when I find her." Just before climbing out, he glanced back at Harry, silently requesting approval.

"Be my _guest_."

-x-x-x-

"Harry… Harry? _Harry_!"

Harry snored on, muttering something. The only word Hermione could make out was 'whore'. She flicked her wand in his direction, rolling her eyes. He was immediately pulled, rather forcefully, from his dozing position on the couch.

"WhatdidIdowhatdoyouwantHermionewhat'sgoingonGinny'sshaggingDean!"

Hermione sighed and gave Harry a look so compassionate that it was almost patronizing. "I heard."

"So what's going on?"

"Luna told me she wanted to speak with you. I think she's just trying to be kind, so you should go see her. I told her I'd come fetch you because she obviously can't come in _here_."

"Hermione—"

"Harry. Go. It won't kill you. She's at the Room of Requirement."

And so he hauled himself off the couch, glaring halfheartedly at Hermione before climbing through the portrait hole and making his way to the Room of Requirement, where he found Luna. Just as Hermione had predicted.

"Luna."

"Hello, Harry. I heard about Ginny… that _is_ unfortunate, isn't it? Everyone knows how much you like her, and for her to do that was rather silly."

Before Harry could even say anything about how 'silly' didn't even begin to cover it, Luna spoke again. "I wasn't really sure what I wanted to say when I asked Hermione to find you for me. I don't really know what type of condolences would be fitting for this situation. I would apologize, but I don't really think _I'm_ the one you want to hear it from…"

He stared at Luna, his eyes almost as wide as hers. This was just too weird. "Luna, you really don't—"

She began to take tentative steps forward, and this didn't go unnoticed by Harry. "What are you doing..?" He'd never seen Luna like this, and he couldn't help entertaining the idea that she had been imperiused (though that idea was only in the _very_ back of his mind, of course).

"Harry, I—"

"Luna, you're—"

She paused momentarily, eyes locked onto his, their usual distant look replaced with one that knew _exactly_ what they wanted. "..Yes?"

Well. _This_ was weird.

"Luna, I don't want you to be—"

"I don't mind," she stated simply, and began to come even closer.

"But—"

"It's okay. I don't mind if you're only doing this because you're upset about Ginny. To make her jealous or something silly. That doesn't matter."

Well, along with being flat-out un-_Luna_-ish, she was being even more oblivious than usual.

"That isn't what I—"

"It's okay," she repeated, shrugging like it really _was_ no big deal. "I get it." And before Harry even had a chance to respond, she was on him. Like a bear on a fish. Like bees on honey. Like a fifteen-year old girl on a sixteen-year old boy. Like a fifteen-year old girl who _wanted_ that sixteen-year old boy.

This was a surprise. And, therefore, Harry had no means by which he could have avoided it, or strategized a way around it, or even thought about it at all, really.

_Her_ mouth was on _his_ mouth, and there was nothing he could do. Well, actually, he _did_ manage to find the little bit of effort to say something along the lines of "Mmmf." But other than that, he was powerless.

Her nimble fingers were grasping at his hair (she was being very aggressive about this, actually) and her tongue was working _furiously_ to find some sort of advantage in his _mouth_ and (what the hell?) he was being shoved up against a wall, and then dragged through a door he hadn't even known was there.

-x-x-x-

"Hermione?" whispered Ron.

"What do you want, Ron?" she leaned toward him over the small table between their two chairs in the corner of the common room. "I _told_ you I wasn't writing your potions essay for you this time—"

"No, it's not that."

"What is it then?"

"Did you hear about—"

"Harry and Luna?"

"_Shagging_ in the Room of Requirement! I mean, really, I admire his originality in choice of location."

"I think _she_ picked it, actually," replied Hermione smugly.

-x-x-x-

Fifteen feet away, Ginny glared furiously into the fire. Dean sat on the opposite end of the couch, refusing to look at her. And when Harry climbed through the portrait hole, they both heaved a sigh of irritation.

* * *

I DID IT FOR THE LULZ. :D 


End file.
